I passed a church the other day and their sign basically read: "God Can Give Us A New Beginning And A New Ending". Isn't that a wonderful thing to hear? That we can totally let the past go, and start over again? That's where I'm at.
After getting back from England, I finally got to the point where I needed to be mentally to get back in shape, lose weight, and just feel better about myself. It has been a long time coming, but I am finally there...as in there mentally...no where near being in shape yet. LOL In my last semester at ASU, I took a swimming class for my last gym credit, and after that, I was in the best shape of my life. I felt good and I looked good. When I moved to Nashville, I joined the Y to keep my fitness level up. I did pretty good, until I met my husband. LOL I started gaining weight pretty fast b/c we were going out to eat all the time and not exercising. Once we set a wedding date, that did change. We were running almost every night, I was doing a workout with my "Buff Brides" book, and hitting the elliptical machine every other day. By the time the wedding rolled around, I felt good about myself again! I could look in a mirror and like what I was seeing.
However, I will say this...if you have never been overweight, then you may not get how hard it becomes and the temptations that come at you once you lose a lot of weight. I know that might sound weird, but I've been chunky my whole life. Boys were never all that interested in me in high school, and college was a bit different...but still. Once I lost the weight and was down to my lowest size, I began to get a lot of attention. Honestly, it was a bit uncomfortable. I didn't know how to react. I would get all these cat calls from men as I drove by or even just walked by. And that weirded me out. And I began making not-so-great decisions with my dating life. Thankfully, God brought Kyle along and you know the rest of that story. :)
After we got married, I began to gain a few pounds, but not too much. I became comfortable around Kyle and he love(d) me for what I looked like, no matter what. But in 2005, my world turned upside down. I had three (yes...THREE) car accidents in a period of 4 months (none of which were my fault), the pastor of the church I was working at left, my boss (the minister of music) went on sabbatical, only to turn in his resignation after it was over, and I was just plain miserable. I had grown to dislike my job, I had gotten out of my routine, and things were just messed up. Thus, the weight gain began at a faster rate.
So, now, I'm at a place that all the weight I worked so hard to lose over a period of time has all come back. Now granted, I don't necessarily blame it on circumstances b/c it is my responsibility to take care of my body, but that time in my life was definitely a crux for everything.
However, there are things in life that I want to do, and in order to do so, I need to be healthy. There is the possibility of children in the future, and if I am still this overweight, I could develop gestational diabetes. Plus, my dad had a heart attack back in 2007, so it has become increasingly apparent that heart disease runs in my family. And my husband said to me that he wants as much time with me as possible, so I want to make sure that I get the most of out the life that I have been given. By continuing to be overweight, I'm shortening the time that I have here on earth.
Though none of this may make too much sense, it is where I'm at. I'm ready for a New Beginning and a New Ending. I'm ready to take our life and my career to the next level. I'm ready for a change, and I am free to do so. I know that this road is going to be an uphill battle, but I know that I can do this only by Christ's strength that He provides. This isn't just about me...this is about my marriage, our future children, and all that is to come.
So, join me on this journey if you will in prayer b/c I'm going to need all I can get!